After reading two books, I realized that angel-themed books are definitely not for me. Why, you ask? Because I have historically loved hot, snarky, tortured, angsty, sarcastic, yet sneakily caring dudes and angels are hardly any of those things. Sure, they're always unbearably beautiful... but that's about it. Angel suitors tend to be calm, have inner peace, overly protective, gentle teasing humor, the perfect gentlemen - in short, flat and boring. As Anne Shirley once said, "I wouldn't want a man who was really wicked. But I think I'd like it if he could be wicked, but wouldn't."
Word up, sister. Even turn-of-the-century prim chicks dug the snarky dudes. And no way, by sheer definition of the word "angel", could an angel love interest possibly encompass any of the characteristics that give compelling guys true personality.
So anyhoo, back to the books that led me to this realization. I really cannot say too much about any of these books so instead will just give a short review of each.
Angel Star by Jennifer MurgiaOutcast girl Teagan with only one friend to her name comes to school one day and hot new kid Garreth shows up out of nowhere with sudden inexplicable interest in her. Illusions are shattered and the truth comes to light - Garreth is Teagan's guardian angel sent to protect her from an evil fallen guardian that is out to rule the mortal world and only Teagan has the power to stop him. Oh, the drama. Oh, and Garreth is madly in love with her after watching over her all these years.
What the heck?
The lack of build up in the story was what bothered me the most. I don't understand the love connection; rather, it just "is" simply because he's been guarding her all these years. I mean, shouldn't there be at least something the guy mentions that he loves about a girl, not, "I've been watching you and now I luuuurve you!" This simply wasn't satisfying enough and just left too many unanswered questions. Mainly, what is so wonderful about Teagan and why should we be rooting for her?
Additionally, there was not much suspense and drama leading up to the epic battle that Teagan and Garreth were anticipating against the evil Hadrian. There just didn't seem to be a very strong and convincing reason on why Teagan was the only one who could save the world - and especially, why we should care.
Never Again
Heavenly by Jennifer LaurensThis book actually started out relatively better for me than Angel Star. We have a somewhat interesting tortured main character Zoe dealing with realistic issues - her family is stressed out over having to take care of a child with autism, and her parents spend so much time on her autistic sister that they don't have time for her or her brother. Her brother is turning into a druggie as a result, and Zoe turns to partying, alcohol, and meaningless hook-ups to deal.
The fantasy part of the story comes when Zoe learns that her sister has a hot guardian angel, Matthias. I'll give the book credit here; it was not instant Love-Pow! Zoe was initially wary of Matthias since he seemed to be stalking her little sister, but she slowly realizes what he is.
So of course you know, she falls in love with him...and he with her. But there was this one really strange part in the book where she thinks in her head that she loves him and then she sees him walking away and suddenly, she just blacks out and falls into deep, dark despair because she thinks he can never love her back. Like, this seriously all took place in her head in the span of like a few seconds.
I did not understand.
And from then on out, it just got weird and boring.
But really, the romance between Zoe and Matthias was uninteresting to me simply because his personality didn't appeal to me.
Never Again & a Half
Halo by Alexandra AdornettoHalo starts out promising to be different from the previous two books in that it is written from the perspective of a newly descended-from-heaven angel rather than through the eyes of a normal human girl. Bethany Church (talk about obvious naming conventions) and her siblings, Archangel Gabriel and Seraphim Ivy, descend upon Venus Cove with the mission from above to “do good works” and, through example, lead the local populace to do the same.
Bethany is the youngest of the trio and has never set foot on earth, so her mind is ablaze with wonder at the sights, sounds, and different feelings she experiences as an angel in the flesh. While her siblings have descended to Earth many times before and are therefore indifferent to the human experience, Bethany is eager to soak up everything she can about being human.
Bethany enrolls at the local private school where she is immediately befriended by somewhat wild child Molly. Molly shows her the ins-and-outs of the school, and gives her the low-down on the different boys at school. The school captain, (Mr. Requisite Hottie) Xavier Woods, takes notice of Bethany and immediately endeavors to get to know her.
Bethany has been warned against forming attachments to the physical world, and especially with humans, as the locals cannot know who the angels really are. However, in true teen girl fashion, she disobeys the laws and reveals her true nature to Xavier whilst falling head-over-heels in love.
Okay, so that should give you an idea of the direction the book goes.
Downhill.
When I first started the book, I thought, okay, Adornetto is taking the angel angle in a different direction than the other two books. It might be interesting to see how an angel deals with landing on earth and trying to blend with the locals. But seriously, once Bethany indulges in her love for Xavier, all she can focus on is him, him, him. She waxes on and on about how much she misses him when she’s not with him, that he is her life now and heaven isn’t her home anymore because Xavier is her home now. What the bloody hell. The story very quickly disintegrates into annoying teen girl sighs over unrealistically attentive, protective, and kind-hearted teenage boy. Seriously, what teenage boy is really like that? Most boys that age are all about rollin’ with the homies and gettin’ action. And Xavier Woods doesn’t have any of those interests? Yeah, right. Fiction, fiction, fiction.
It was like reading Twilight all over again.
On top of the annoying lovelorn girl drama, supposed issues that came up in the book were resolved way too quickly. I present the following examples:
Gabriel and Ivy discover that Bethany has revealed her true angel nature to Xavier. Gabriel visits the Heavenly Council to determine what to do about Bethany and “the situation” – and they decide to let her be. What? Shouldn’t there be like epic consequences, natural disasters, floods, lighting – something – because she has disobeyed the laws of heaven and gained heavenly wrath? Nope, none at all. Bethany gets to go on her merry way with Xavier. If that’s the case, why bother having the law in the first place?
Another example is when Xavier breaks his leg and can’t take Bethany to the prom. He encourages her to go with a substitute date, where sub forces a kiss on her and the moment is captured on camera and posted on Facebook. Xavier avoids Bethany for the next 3-4 days and when she finally confronts him, he believes that she cheated on him and had given him the heave-ho. Bethany tries to explain what really happened, but it falls on deaf ears. She goes away and falls into a deep, dark depression because she despairs that she has lost him forever (sound familiar?). Oh, but guess what? It gets all nicely resolved 1 page later when Gabriel goes to Xavier’s house to set him straight. What makes Big Brother’s words more believable than Bethany’s?? Stupid boy. And stupid girl immediately takes him back. Dude, I would at least have railed him for being a dumbass and not willing to listen to my reasons. But no, it was, oh I'm so glad you finally believe me! I almost died without you. Blech. Totally gag-worthy.
Okay, so after all this crazy love drama, there is the baddie that comes in and tries to corrupt the town. And then they battle and it ends, but not really, because there is going to be a sequel. And that is just a really bad idea because if I can sum up what should be an epic confrontation with the main baddie in like 1 sentence, that tells you just how unmemorable this book turned out for me.
Halo is seriously like Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse combined but worse because at least I liked Edward at first. I felt that Adornetto was trying to pack way too much in one book, but it also simultaneously moved excruciatingly slow. Conundrum? Yes, but she managed it.
Never Again
HAHAHAH!!!
ReplyDeleteWhoa. I suddenly feel much better about my slightly mean review of Torment.
This was awesome dude. Epic consequences...Anne Shirley quote...Twi-references. Probably more entertaining than actually reading any of the books, which I wont do by the way. I almost borrowed Halo from the library. What can I say the cheesey cover nearly hooked me, but then vaguely remembered you saying you didnt digs.